The Tao of Taxi Etiquette
by Abraxi Taxi — Saint Augustine’s Sacred Ride
We take a lot of calls. And we try to take care of people.
First come the VIPs — loyal locals who have ridden with us since the beginning, almost seventeen years ago. Then come Saint Augustine residents, followed by our lovely tourists. But once we have picked you up and dropped you off somewhere in this Ancient City, we feel an obligation not to leave you stranded — no matter the hour or destination.
That said, there is a Way to doing this right.
Taxi Zen Begins with the Dispatcher
The dispatcher is your bridge between chaos and comfort. If you listen — really listen — your trip will unfold like a lotus blooming in traffic.
Tell us:
Where you are (business name or full address)
- How many are riding
- Where you want to go
Bonus points if you are in a noisy bar and step outside before calling. We do not want to yell over your third karaoke verse of “Livin’ on a Prayer.”
Time Calls Are Sacred Appointments
If you book a time call, be ready at that time.
The superior rider does not make us wait. They do not give us the “just one minute” finger from the porch as they finish their cigarette and comb their hair. For that, you may receive the universally understood Merry Christmas salute in return.
True cab gods are punctual, presentable, and prepared. They have finished all hygiene rituals and packed all essential belongings. They treat the cab like a chariot of destiny — not a bathroom or snack bar.
Communication Is Enlightenment
Sometimes things happen. Maybe we are running behind due to traffic, a bridge lift, or a mechanical hiccup. The superior customer:
- Does not call five times in five minutes
- Does not scream into a 2006 flip phone with a cracked speaker
- Does not cancel just as we pull into the driveway
They answer when we call, respond politely, and never — under any circumstance — tell us what Uber would charge. That is like bringing a squirrel to a dog show. Just… don’t.
The Pricing Path Is Flat and Steady
We do not surge.
What you paid on the way in is what you will pay on the way out.
Yes, other companies may charge less. If price is your priority, we will not argue — just go with them. No hard feelings. But never quote their price at us like it is a haggling contest. It’s not.
The Superior Passenger’s Code
To become a legendary taxi fare, embody the following:
- Brevity — Say what matters, no more.
- Clarity — Speak like someone who wants to get picked up.
- Punctuality — Be there. Be ready.
- Generosity — Tips keep the taxi karma flowing.
- Loyalty — Ride with us and we will ride with you.
- Patience — The Bridge of Lions does not care about your brunch.
- Good-naturedness — Being nasty every day is not a personality. It is a cry for help.
Final Thought from the Front Seat
Life is hard. Sometimes you are hungover, heartbroken, or just running late. We get it. But grace and gratitude will get you far — especially in a cab.
And remember:
The superior taxicab client never utters the name Uber.
Or, if they must… they whisper it. And then say five Hail Marys.
