Archive Note — 2026: Originally published in 2018, this was my attempt to take a hard look at some of the unhealthy habits that can come with spending long hours behind the wheel. I’ve updated some of the health language while keeping the original cab-driver philosophy, questionable humor and general suspicion of drive-thru windows.
Before I became a taxi driver, I was a chef.
You might think changing careers from a kitchen to a driver’s seat would improve my health.
You would be wrong.
Driving a taxi can turn you into something of a vampire. You work strange hours. You sit too much. You eat when you can. You learn which drive-thru is open at 2:00 in the morning and eventually begin making dietary decisions that would make a cardiologist cry.
Then one day your body sends you a memo.
Mine arrived in the form of bloodwork that gave me a few things to pay attention to.
Thanks, aging.
The Drive-Thru of Doom
Fast food is convenient.
That’s the problem.
When you spend hours driving, it’s remarkably easy to convince yourself that whatever can be handed through a window in ninety seconds constitutes dinner.
Once in a while? Fine.
As a lifestyle?
Probably not the wisest route on the map.
A steady diet of heavily processed food doesn’t do our waistlines, blood pressure or blood sugar any favors. The industry’s ability to package salt, sugar and fat into something we can eat with one hand while driving deserves at least a little suspicion.
Abraxi Taxiom: The shortest route to dinner isn’t always the healthiest one.
Sitting Is Part of the Job. Staying Still Doesn’t Have to Be.
Taxi drivers sit.
A lot.
There isn’t much getting around that unless somebody finally approves my Abraxi Helo-Taxi.
So I’ve learned that I have to deliberately find reasons to move.
Walk when there’s downtime. Stretch. Park the cab and use your legs occasionally for something besides operating pedals.
You don’t have to become an Olympic athlete.
You just have to remember that the human body wasn’t designed to spend twelve hours shaped like a Honda seat.
Smoking Doesn’t Make the Night Shift Better
Smoking and driving have had a long relationship.
They’re getting divorced.
If you smoke, quitting is one of the most important things you can do for your health. Vaping isn’t harmless either, so replacing one habit with another isn’t much of a victory.
Long nights behind the wheel are hard enough on the body without deliberately adding smoke to the machinery.
Abraxi Taxiom: Your lungs don’t care how long the red light is.
A Little Sunshine Doesn’t Hurt
Night drivers don’t always see much daylight.
That’s worth paying attention to.
Vitamin D is important to health, and low levels have been studied in connection with a variety of health problems, although an association doesn’t necessarily mean one causes the other.
The larger lesson is simpler anyway:
Get out of the cab once in a while.
See daylight.
Walk around.
Remember that the giant glowing object in the sky is called the sun.
Don’t Forget Your Teeth
Drivers can become very good at taking care of their cars while postponing maintenance on themselves.
Oil change? Right on schedule.
Dental appointment?
Maybe next decade.
That’s backwards.
Regular dental care matters, and oral health is part of overall health. Your teeth deserve at least as much attention as your brake pads.
Probably more.
Nobody has ever had to chew a steak with a brake pad.
Sleep Is Maintenance Too
Working odd hours can turn sleep into something you negotiate with rather than something you actually do.
But fatigue isn’t a badge of honor, particularly when your job involves operating a vehicle and carrying passengers.
Rest matters.
A tired driver isn’t doing himself, his passengers or anyone else on the road a favor.
Abraxi Taxiom: The cab can run on gasoline. The driver cannot.
The Cab Isn’t the Whole World
There’s another part of driver health that doesn’t show up on a blood test.
You need a life outside the car.
Read something. Plant something. Walk somewhere. Talk to somebody who isn’t asking how much it costs to get downtown.
Taxi driving exposes you to humanity in all its glorious weirdness, but eventually you need to shut the door, turn off the phone and remember that you are something besides a dispatcher with legs.
Take Care of the Driver
I’ve spent years worrying about tires, brakes, oil, insurance, inspections, customers and whether somebody is going to throw up in the back seat.
Eventually you realize the most important piece of equipment in the taxi doesn’t come from Honda.
It’s the driver.
Eat a little better.
Move a little more.
Don’t smoke.
Get some sleep.
See your doctor and dentist.
And occasionally get out of the damn car.
You don’t have to become perfect.
You just have to keep moving in the right direction.
Stay smart. Stay weird. And stay alive.
Abraxi Taxioms
The shortest route to dinner isn’t always the healthiest one.
The cab can run on gasoline. The driver cannot.
Take care of the driver and the driver can take care of the passengers.
